


A long way to go

by soul_wanderer



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgiving Rollins, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Rape, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:48:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_wanderer/pseuds/soul_wanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course Amanda would refuse to see a therapist, even after everything she's been through. Olivia should have known that much and so she's not really surprised when she shows up at her doorstep that night. - tag to Forgiving Rollins (rated M for mentions of rape)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A long way to go

**Author's Note:**

> After watching Forgiving Rollins I knew I had to write a story that explores what happened after Amanda storms out of the therapist's office - as usual feedback is welcome!

She didn’t go to the therapist like Olivia told her to after she had confessed what Patton had done to her. She didn’t go when it had initially happened and she certainly didn’t see the necessity of it now.  
She had made it as far as to the waiting room, Olivia was her boss after all, but had left again minutes later, thinking that this was a stupid idea.  
Olivia should have known that she wouldn’t go. She knew how stubborn Amanda was, but she had still hoped she would listen to her.

The truth was, she was worried. She had always expected there was more to Amanda’s past than she let on, but she was as withdrawn as she was stubborn.  
When she had told her about the rape it didn’t come as much of a surprise, not really at least. Of course she was shocked at first, but it was quickly replaced by anger, then compassion.

Amanda had been through enough in her life and it seemed like she went from one hardship from another, never getting a moment to breathe, never having someone to confide in.   
Olivia wanted to change that, but some days it was still hard to get through to her and that’s why she had recommended her therapist.

When she showed up at her doorstep that night she was shaking and Olivia was momentarily surprised. She could sense Amanda’s inner turmoil and let her in, already knowing she hadn’t shown up at the therapist’s office for her appointment.  
She was standing in the middle of her living room, her arms defensively wrapped around her chest when Olivia walked in and it broke her heart to see her like this.

“Hey” She quietly spoke up, trying to get her attention, and when she gently touched her arm Amanda flinched, eyes shooting up to meet Olivia’s.   
“Come on, let’s sit down” Olivia’s voice was soft and Amanda reluctantly agreed after taking off her coat and boots.

They didn’t talk after that for a while, Amanda sitting on the couch, motionless, biting her lower lip that started trembling as thoughts and emotions overwhelmed her.  
Olivia was watching her silently, lost in her own thoughts, looking up when a sob tore through the silence of the room.

Closing the distance between them Olivia opened her arms for Amanda, wrapping them around her shaking body, holding her close as heavy sobs escaped her lips and hot, desperate tears streamed down her cheeks.  
She didn’t say anything, letting her work through the pain and pent-up emotions and letting her know she wasn’t alone while gently caressing her back until the tears eventually ran dry.

“It’s okay now” Olivia eventually whispered “You’ve kept this in for so long, it’s time you let it all out” She ran her fingers up and down her arm as Amanda took a shaky breath.

After all this time the memories still felt so fresh, shivers running down her spine as pictures of Patton touching her, hurting her, flooded her mind once again.  
Olivia knew all the details now; it had made her stomach churn and made Amanda feel incredibly vulnerable at first, but she was glad now, not having to carry the burden alone any longer and having someone to open up to.

She hadn’t pursued any relationships since being raped but over time she had developed feelings for the woman that was currently holding her and it had scared her at first, not knowing how to deal with them after everything she’s been through.  
Her fears were slowly dissipating though, she felt safe in Olivia’s presence and for the first time in years she actually allowed someone else to be close to her without immediately pushing them away again.

She had often wondered if Olivia felt the same way about her, had been afraid her feelings weren’t reciprocated, but most of all she had been afraid Olivia wouldn’t want to be with someone as broken as her.  
In this moment though, with Olivia holding her close, her doubts were slowly fading away and she allowed herself to relax and Olivia to comfort her as she worked through everything that had happened to her in the past.

Letting out a long breath she wrapped one of her arms around Olivia’s middle and slowly closed her eyes, exhausted from the ordeal of the past days, and feeling Olivia press a gentle kiss into her hair she finally fell asleep, feeling safe and loved for the first time in years.


End file.
